hargeisa to Bosaso And a 24+hour Roadtrip

Today morning I woke up with a clear goal in mind. I said to myself "fatima it's about time you tried writing again , so here I am staring at this blank sheet trying to come up with something worth reading.

It's been a long while since I've written anything other than medical notes and stuff like amoxicillin 1g PO Qd ..so getting back to using whatever vocabulary or grammar I have left will take quite some work (Bear with me if my yours are written as you're etc )

And what better way to start than with an update ...I'M HAVING A BABYYY 💗👏👏👏 ....lool  jokes nah I haven't gotten that far accomplished in life yet . but I GRADUATED 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊 YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY . (you do realize I didn't mention that for nothing right? ...graduation gifts? Anyone? ) .

I've also been going back and forth between hargeisa and bosaso over the past year and it has definitely added to my overall Somalia experience . 

So the first time to bosaso , here I am thinking how far can it be yaeh? I mean a couple of hours by car ..I can handle that and I'd like to see all the little cities in between and sheikh mountain and take loads of pretty pics for Instagram and show off my #viewfromthe252 hash tags . sooo with no further delay , I made the overly enthusiastic announcement "Let's do this RoadTrip Hooyo!!!" 

you would expect my all knowing of all things Somalia related dear mommy to know that the roadtrip from hargeisa to bosaso is a long 24+hr ride ..But nahiii hoyoo dearest has herself never had the privilege of seeing most parts of Somalia too . 

A few phonecalls and packed bags later , we were at the "stopka" , also known as "stanka", a more Somali version of a bus stop .

 To those of you who haven't been on road trips inside Somalia from these stops , let me explain :

The stops are run by men called "kariyaha" or "dilaalka" , they're the person you call a night or two before your trip and they arrange for your car , they manage which car leaves first , and since they are so well connected they manage to find customers for the cars leaving .

Now the downfall of this system ..things are not in pen and paper and always subject to change or delay or even advancement . so when you say "i'm leaving tomorrow , its urgent .and I would like the front seat " ..please don't be disappointed if you end up sitting in the back with 3 other people and not by the window , and instead of leaving at 6am like the kariyaha told you , you spend 3 hours arguing how you got the wrong seat and being dragged from one car to another . (sharing my personal experience) . 

Being our very first time in one of these stops , it was definitely nerve wrecking.. Having to stand your ground in a testesterone filled environment is by far an understatement , so ladies if in the future you plan on going to these stops, its preferable if with a male relative or friend (seriously having a man around helps speed things up a lot in Somalia) . 

Another major problem is the overcrowding in the cars , (minivans) , so the passenger seat that's normally meant for ummm 1person is for 2 people . so unless you clearly mention you're paying for both seats [which is actually 1 seat but no one cares what your dhaqan Celis self has to say about road safety and whining ] you will end up either glued to the door or with one of your buttcheeks uncomfortably on the gearstick . 

and the same goes for the middle and back seats ; 4 people instead of 3 regardless of how obese or impossible it may seem to you , you all will fit in there and the kariyee will personally make sure of it 

His Blood is not Good Enough

A problem I never wrote about in Somalia is the phenomena of Murder based on Stature . The More successful you are , the more your chances of being killed . Cliche? Behind every Successful man is a pack of haters ? . But see the difference is you are not dying because they are hating on YOU per say . It's not personal you see. It's simply tribal business.
Let me Explain
I remember when my Father [allah yir7amu] first brought me to Somalia, though he wanted to visit his hometown , he would say it was too risky and he would probably be killed as pay back for a crime someone from the same tribe committed years ago .At that time it seemed like another exaggerated fairy tale  and there was no way people could be so unreasonable .
But a few days ago I heard of 2 similar stories . A man who was killed for a crime his brother committed . The problem is the brother who committed the crime wasn't hiding or on the run , he was living just like everyone else , Like he was a man with no blood on his hands - No one wanted him , because his blood wasn't valuable enough.

"He's a Looser , his blood is not equal to my tribesman, No one will mourn his death" .

So instead in the middle of the night , the innocent brother who was minding his  bussiness was dragged out of his house and shot dead .
A Bussiness Man for a Bussiness man , A Doctor for a Doctor , A Sheikh for A Sheikh .
that's the rule .

And what else would make people act so barbarically and irrationally but the mind numbing , ego stroking ideology of Tribalism .
And no matter how many successful people of our nation are born , the laws of tribalism will keep our nation tied down and forever in the shadows of poverty, barbarism, and illiteracy .
You would think Religion ,common sense, and humanity would protect one from shedding blood so  easily , so intentionally , so righteously but it is heartbreaking and frustrating to see how our nation has crumbled to it's knees because of a name - Reer Hebel.

Make A Difference

I remember a few months ago , My friends and I were introduced to a man who would push us to make a difference . A man who forced us to look at things from a new perspective regardless of what the norm was .
I would love to mention his name but I would have to make sure it is okay with him . So for the time being let's call him Prof. A .

Prof A had a philosophy . In arabic: "إن لم تزد شيئا على الدنيا فأنت زائد عليها "  [If  you do not add anything to this world , then you are simply an addition/burden on it] and then he would ask you 

Are you simply an addition or do you have something to add? 

it's a simple statement yet so profound in meaning and very much true . After a 2 hour long conversation over dinner with prof.A . We were all very much inspired to make a difference , to leave something behind in a city that we had no tribal/family ties to.
After much thought we decided the best addition one could ever make was that of knowledge . like the famous quote " Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day , teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime" . At the time we were 5 girls , so we decided to each financially support a child who could not afford education. Surprisingly we did not have to go far to find such children . a few doors away from our own house we found 3 familes with 8 children, all of which were staying at home yet of school age, and some loosing a parent.
Our initial plan was simply sponsoring 5 children , soon we had 2 other girls in and now we could sponsor 7 kids . At the time it was almost the end of the school year , so we decided to enroll them into a Quranic school . After explaining to the dugsii teacher what we wanted to do , he offered to take in the 8th kid as well free of charge .

I know it might seem like a very straighforward , easy to execute kinda plan right ? WRONG!!
In a Country that has been over exposed to NGO's and free handouts , the parents of the children were very skeptical of our intentions and in no time news was spreading of "These Arab girls who were working with an NGO and were offering to pay for tuition".  and as people estimated how much of the funding we were slipping into our pockets and how many thousands of dollars we were selfishly holding back , the clan ideology came into play : on more than one occasion we were told to help our Clan's needy instead of those we were not related to. - "Your people need it first" .

A few months later ,On eid we were able to give out a humble sum of money to the families of the children [3 families in total ] and an exceptional woman who herself raises 4 children by picking up trash from families for less than 25cents per pick up.
 Now we are planning on adding another 5 children to the Quranic School and this time an aunty from Saudi Arabia has taken up their sponsoring and paid an advance for 5 months.

In my opinion this is a very humble addition to a community that has given us personally the chance at a higher education. It is only fair to give back and hopefully InshAllah those of you reading this will be inspired to make a difference as well regardless of how big or small it may be . And in time I hope these very kids grow up and in turn give back to their communities and so forth .
- Contribute within your means , any way you can to your communities . Do it not for the love of fame , or for a name , or even with the expectations of an applause . Do it simply for the sake of leaving good behind and making a difference
 

Breast Cancer Awareness

the Adenoma after it was removed surgically [ larger than a fist]

Earlier this year , my cousin had a "Breast Cancer Scare" . She had had this lump on her right breast for over 6 months but had kept it a secret from the family . Eventually it got worse to the point where walking or even bending forward was painful .
Alhamdulilah it wasn't breast cancer but a benign adenoma .

If there is one thing I want to pass out through this post , it has to be the importance of a Self Breast exam . Some of us might be lucky enough to learn about it in schools and other public health education programs but most of us have simply heard of it or we've never been bothered enough to do it .

Please do check these video out [CLICK HERE] for how to do a proper self breast exam. it's only a minute long and I promise you it will be helpful. 

You might think well I'm not really at risk for breast cancer so why bother right? . WRONG !!!
the simple fact that you are a woman puts you at risk for breast cancer aside from all the other risk factors.


What Can you do to Lower your chances of getting it? 

Unlike your gender, there are certain things you can modify to lower your risk of getting cancer.
One that would be relevant for many of the younger generation is Smoking !!! . And No, smoking does not only mean cigarettes. It includes Shiisha, cannabis and whatever seems to be out there that involves lighting up and inhaling .

To the Women with Children - BREASTFEED if you can !!!!. it's been proven that breastfeeding for over a year can lower your risk of getting breast cancer . Subhan-Allah is it not amazing how the Holy Quran mentions breastfeeding for 2 years  .

there is a famous saying that goes like " You are what you eat" and that couldn't be anymore true.
A healthy lifestyle not only lowers your risk of breast cancer but also Hypertension, Diabetes, Strokes, etc etc etc .
A sedentary lifestyle is not a lifestyle!!! it's a highway to illness and painful death.
So, Eat more Bananas with lunch , go for a walk or Dance it off GANGNAM STYLE. Switch your sodas for a home made fruit cocktail and
PLEASE DO NOT RE-USE THE FRYING OIL even if that means getting into an argument with hooyo  [it's been shown to increase your risk of cancer]  

If you do notice any of the changes mentioned in the picture , Do make an appointment with your doctor ASAP !! and get it looked at [ that does not mean next month or 6 months later - the earlier the better ] 

And Finally Breast Cancer is not an exclusively women's only disease . Men can get breast cancer as well . so to all the brothers If you TOO notice any changes , go see a doctor immediately.  

For those of you interested in reading more on it : Do check out BreastCancer.org

Africa through my Lens

My Long Feud with The Evil M's

If there is one thing I will never come to terms with . It has got to be the M family .

Over the years since we've first met . My hate for this family has increased to the point where I dream of slowly and painfully debilitating their limbs one at a time - Gross ? . I KNOW !!
I might as well confess that in the past 5 years I have mercilessly killed a few elders in that family [Only because they are the weaker , noticeably easier to catch off guard members]
And this is coming from the girl who screams at the top of her lungs against violence and what not .

Now I know you're probably wondering what has this family done , to earn all my cursing and my SAW like fantasies of mass murder . and this is my story with the M's

Our very first encounter must have been my first day in Borama. After a Long bumpy car ride from Hargeisa . Lying down in the "7osh"[ a version of a backyard]  to enjoy the breath taking weather of the city seemed like such a great idea. But little did I know that I would be brutally attacked , only to wake up to my very first bruise not inflicted by hooyo's flip flop or a WWE match with my siblings [ John Cena fan ^_^ ] . And to make things worse I had no idea where I had gotten it .
So being my superstitious self I blamed it on Jinn and the Evil eye [ Seems reasonable right? ] .

A few bruises later and A trip to the hospital I finally noticed the demonic beings that devoted their life to suck the very blood out of me and leave me with nothing but deformed skin and a bad case of allergies.
I was outraged, frustrated and in tears - Imagine having to face an entire army of blood relatives alone. How could I ever win ? .

Well a few years later and a few 100 battles , I can proudly say I am now a Mosquito fighting Ninja Assassin.
See I'm sure you're all familiar with the Mosquito repellent sprays and creams , But that has definitely got to be tiring and hard to keep up [Considering how hard it is to find them in the first place ] . My repellents would always run out half way through the year and my only way of getting more was begging hooyoo to send me some with the next person heading over to Hargeisa or Borama .

It was then that our maid introduced me to the power of "Foox"/Foo7 [Punt] . See I learned that lighting a little bit of it , not only keeps the M's away but is a blessing on those chilly nights by working much like a heater . [Talk about effecient energy saving and smaller electric bills]
Another Secret is Black seed oil [ 7abat Soda] , let me just mention there is no black seed oil like the ones in Burco [Works perfectly against muscle sprains, colds, allergies - anything basically ] .
I promise you rubbing that on before you sleep will keep the M's away all night .

And finally Don't take your Mosquito Nets lightly . I consider it my safe haven literally . My first 3 months in Borama, I lived inside one and the only time I would step out of it was for a quick dash to the bathroom . God Bless the Maro Kanee3o/Mustakar/Shandarama !!!

And the Most Peculiar method of Killing these tiny Vampires is by getting one of these 

Rubbing any kind of oil all over it and using it much like a shield .
See when you hear that horrible buzzing noise near you , do a swift hand move around you and BAAAMMM - they are trapped .[Make sure you don't hit yourself in the head - that makes you look really dumb and you loose all ninja cool points ]
At this point it is up to you how you would like to end their miserable lives . I personally go for breaking off their needles :) .


Have you met the M's yet and if you did How do you deal with them  ? 

Why I've been missing and My Year

So a few days ago , I finally remembered I had a blog that I loved so much from once upon a time and as I was going through it I realized I haven't been blogging as much.
 (understatement for 3 posts over 9 months hehe)
So here I am flexing my fingers , dusting off my grammar and punctuation to put together a semi decent post on why I've been MIA. 

2012 has definitely been a very tough year for my Family and I . Apart from the regular stresses of Uni and hospital rounds and what not . My dad was diagnosed with a stage 4 Esophageal cancer last Ramadan .

As a medical student we're always throwing out differential diagnosis on rounds and one of the answers you can never go wrong with is Cancer. The resident asks you what's your differential ?
Safest Answer : TB, Cancer. Infection. . Overtime we become desensitized and such horrible diseases are just answers to us .
 We don't really completely understand how devastating it is , not only to the patient but also to their entire family .

I remember once having a patient whose symptoms were so similar to my dad's. Diagnosing him was like diagnosing my father , and I kept subconsciously avoiding esophageal cancer even though his symptoms were classic for the case. 
 I knew that would mean there was a big chance my dad had a similar condition .I was in denial  

How Did I find Out ? 

 Just after Eid ('011) , my family decided to move to kenya after spending 6 months with us ,and I wasn't about to miss the trip so I  tagged along for what was left of my summer break. 
A day before we left to Nairobi , my mom was just going through the luggage and she found my Aaboo's medical reports . Like most moms she just passed it to me and my cousin (also a med student) to look at and maybe learn a thing or two from it .
A chance to test my skills and showoff what I've been learning for 4 years . We walked over to the other room , stood by the window and stared at the X-rays and CT Scans. Instantly my heart dropped but I wasn't about to jump to a disease that meant my dad was dying . So I stayed calm , pulled out the medical report and read what the radiologist had to say . - It was Cancer . 

Fast Forward to May 25th '012
My Uncle calls to let us know that Dad passed away .
After a 9 month battle with stage 4 esophageal Cancer, 2 rounds of chemo, and 2 stent placement surgeries .At the age of 54 Aabo was no more with us. 

So that's been most of my year summarized in a few paragraphs , Oh not to forget being suspended twice from Uni . But that is a post for another day ^_^  

PS: just a quick note I might as well squeeze in . I know how most Somalis neglect their health and avoid check ups and all.  But  I just want to emphasize how important and live saving that hour or two you take out of your day to get a check up could be . 

- Dont take your Health for Granted , It's a Blessing so cherish it ;)





  

  

How Many Camels is Your Girlfriend Worth ?

So I am finally back again after my really long hiatus . I wonder if any of you still read this hehe
But to those of you who do I ran into this website that actually calculates how many camels, goats and sheep your girlfriend is worth !!!. - That Should be interesting to check out
Ofcourse for the ladies , you could check out how much you think you're worth too . 

http://camels.evilsun.org

 I SHOULD CALL UP MY UNCLES AND COUSINS IN BADIYO and tell them about this , it would make their life so much easier !!!!!


PS: I was worth 40 camels, 4 goats and 9 sheep !!!! 

Fanatic Feminism And the Hijab Drama

When people want to brutally criticize Islam and how it mistreats women , They usually fail to see the bigger picture . They are quick to jump on how women are treated in Afghanistan and how they cannot attend schools. Or In Saudi Arabia and how women there do not vote or drive .Or how In Iran women are so brutally stoned for adultery, Or the entire muslim world and the enormous number of Honour killings and Child brides.

OH MY GOD , ISLAM IS SUCH A SEXIST, MALE DOMINANT RELIGION !!. Lets Ban the Niqab and the Hijab , Lets Ban praying in Universities, Lets Ban everything Islamic and The women will be free !!!! I bet the only reason they wear that rag is because of their husbands, brothers and fathers, I bet the only reason they’re praying like that is because they must be forced to do so . OH POOR LITTLE THINGS!!!! POWER TO THE WOMEN!!! …. 

 And I laugh at the irony : Oppression under the name of freedom

Have you asked yourselves why the things you call Islamic change from one muslim country to another ? How is it that other muslim girls go to school in other muslim countries ? and how is it that muslim women around the world drive and vote? Did you consider that these were all different cultures and traditions ?
OH MY ,DID I JUST BLOW UP YOUR LITTLE BUBBLE OF FANATIC FEMINISM ?

There is no such thing as Honour killings in Islam. It is Forbidden and should be treated like any other murder, it does not exist in the Quran or the Sunnah and carrying out such an act should be punished!. There is Nothing in the Quran or the Sunnah that prohibit women from gaining knowledge from school or Universities. On the contrary the very first words of the Holy Quran revealed were “READ” . The prophet’s wife Aisha was one of the greatest Scholars of her time, Men and Women went to her for Knowledge and advice. She was the equivalent of today’s Harvard University. There is no Obligation for muslim women to wear the Niqab , it is a matter of choice . So the next time you see a muslim Ninja female, Do not be quick to blame her husband, brother or father .Islam is a choice , you can choose to follow it or you can choose not to -Only God will judge you on it . However Culture and tradition is  often NOT a choice , if you fail to follow it - Society will judge you 

Let’s scream for women’s rights together, Lets Help victims of rape and domestic abuse, Lets put our efforts into getting better work and schooling opportunities for women . But please Lets not blame Religion for the Ignorance of some fools.

Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ?

It started out as a random statement that came out of nowhere "I hope I do not marry a man from clan X" . Interested I asked " why not ? "
And the response was one of the strangest story I've heard over the years:

Well haven't you heard of the phrase "Xagaag Xalimo (Summer Halimo) " . As I waved my head in response, she said ; See in that part of Somalia , when it get's really hot in the summer, women go to cities where it's cooler, taking their children along and leaving the husbands behind since they're working. While they're gone, some of their husbands marry a second wife and settle her into the first wife's home. Just before wife one comes back from her summer holidays he either divorces wife 2 or settles her in a home on the other side of town , keeping her a summer secret never to be known by his "Formal wife" . Hence the name Xagaag Xalimos - they're a Summer fling.  

Over the years I thought I had heard every kind of Strange Somali story. But this was one that I've never imagined of hearing over my 20 years of living. Naturally my mind started imagining if I was in place of any of those women who went on a summer holiday only to come back and find another woman walking through the halls of their living room. Of all the emotions I imagined feeling, rage would be the one to take control. The absurdity of that situation would be beyond words, and what would follow would range from simple name calling to the death of a man who could not control his lust, and in the most extreme of cases it would include the death of a Xagaag Xalimo as well.

For the Sake of the men in that city , I hope that story is simply gossip mentioned over afternoon teas for a good laugh.
Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ? and Do you think it is based on true stories ? 

Sport or Diplomatic Tribalism

So if you have been following Universal Tv or simply the Somali Gossip lately , you will already know that Somaliland is having its annual Football championship in Burco . This is an interesting event for a few reasons . and the timing couldn't be anymore perfect . Here's why :

A few days ago, there was some tribal tensions in the northern region of Somaliland , precisely between Qabiley and Borama. I wont go into any specifics of the incident , since I have heard only one side of the story and am not very familiar with the whole situation. Let's just say there were Gunshots through 24 hours, Tribe Seniors Locked up and protests leading up to civilian clashes with the police - not very pretty at all.

So with a tribal feud building up slowly , what better way to settle it all than in the field with a ball - It was GAME TIME !!!! . a day after the tension started , there was a match between Qabileey and Borama. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said the whole town was glued to their screens through the 90 minute game. - and if it isn't clear yet , it wasn't because the whole town were interested in football.
You even had the Old women on standby and everytime a goal was scored , they'd ask who scored [ that's how oblivious they were to the whole game. to them it was just a bunch of men running around with a ball , but what they knew was they were playing the so called enemy !!!! ] and when they were told it was Borama - The drums would be playing and the whole ilyilyilyilyilyyy was the national anthem for the next 30 seconds. this was clearly tribalism invading football , a more diplomatic way of solving issues. No Guns involved , just loads of sweat on the field and a ball.

I dont particularly remember the score , but Borama did win that day and the Gunshots and clashes from the day before were followed with celebrations, drum playing and a joyful feel in the air.

Peace is restored once again to Borama, thanks to the beautiful game of Football :).

PS: To the readers of the blog, I'd like to introduce myself . I am the co-writer of this blog while Fatma is away. I will simply go under Anonymous for now but I will add my contact info to the "about me" page for those of you who are interested in knowing me . Hopefully I will be able to bring you an interesting read .

Dear Readers

I write this post with very mixed feelings. Lately My writing has been interfering with my Education .When I say that I do not mean I have been spending more time writing than homework, however apparently my opinions and observations have almost ended my University education. I am sorry I cannot go into the details of the incident or what I might be referring to for personal reasons. But hopefully in a few months , I will be free to get back to updating you all on the latest from wherever I might be .  
I do promise to come back with better stories after my graduation. But for now I am forced to stick to a Journal.


I love you all , and to those of you who do want to keep in touch you can always send me an email or tweet me @fayyDs. 
                                                           
                                                                                    Love,
                                                                                        Fayy [ Heblayo]

Do Not Enroll Into Med School - Advice from a med student

Through most of my School years , I've played with the idea of majoring in different fields. I've thought of being a lawyer, a Journalist , a psychologist , nutritionist , translator and ofcourse a Doctor. As HighSchool came to an end , I had narrowed down to 3 fields. But like most Somali families most of my choices were dismissed as inappropriate and I was enrolled into med school. The first 2 years of med school was a breeze , I wasn't challenged or impressed by the level of difficulty - A's grew on trees for me . Fastforward and I'm a senior with only 18 months to graduation and things are not all that easy anymore, the pressure is high, expectation even higher and the wide road to greatness seems to be turning into a narrow bridge . Not to mention being on binoculars at all times by the entire Somali community . So after much whining to everyone in sight here I am putting together a few paragraphs on why you should NOT enroll into med school. 

 Let me simply put it this way ; If anyone tells you medicine is the hardest field to be in , smack them in the face and tell them to FEAR THE LORDD for their outrageous Lie!!!! .
On a more serious note , from personal experience I would tell you I felt "smarter" when I was in highschool than I am right now. Med school killed a good portion of my brain cells. Studying medicine is 90% about your memory skills and 10% critical thinking. So basically you are rarely challenged to come up with a solution of your own , most of it is in the books . So unless you are willing to spend a minimum of 6 hours reading about sickness and disease, DO NOT ENROLL IN MED SCHOOL!!! . 


Reason 2: If you're a laid back person to begin with , who enjoys doing nothing most days except hanging out with your friends and living your social life to the max, then again I would tell you not to enroll into med school . You see there's this Triangle to med school , and the equation to success can have only 2 of these 3 factors. ; Homework , Sleep and Social Life. You will always have to sacrifice one , and when in med school it's always the social life that gets cut out. You could try and act all smart about it and cut out sleep , but once again from experience that is usually a short term solution and will most likely lead to a good number of D's and F's on your transcript .


Reason 3: you have to be an A or B student AT ALL TIMES, anything below that is just unacceptable- Talk about Pressure!!! . And when you have about 95% of the class getting straight A's , your C+ will have you feeling like an Idiot all day long. So if you enjoy the comfort of having to "Just pass" DO NOT ENROLL INTO MED SCHOOL!!!!!. 


And my closing Argument , The Work field is already highly competitive as it is , and unless you are the best around, you will most likely not get a decent job as a doctor. There is no " just okay applicant" - Be the Greatest or Go Home. So practically speaking are you willing to go through 6 - 10 years of school and risk ending up staying home? or even worse working for minimum wages in a village in the middle of nowhere ?. 


Final Words - DO NOT ENROLL INTO MED SCHOOL , MAKE ME PROUD AND BE ANY OF THE THINGS I COULD NOT BE ;) 

The Hush Hush talk - Hymens and Virginity

Hymen reconstructions, little Chinese hymen look-alike products, Ketchup, little cuts on the thighs etc etc etc. The lengths some would go to prove their virginity on the night of their wedding . Would I blame them ? not necessarily . I am sure many are already shaking their heads and yelling out profanities at my choice of topic but I really couldn't care less. 


Over the years , different cultures have challenged each other at how to prove a girl's virginity . The Somalis, like many other Africans decided to go with the FGM , a creative way to keep girls from having premarital sex. I mean who would want to go through excruciating pain just for some one night stand. right? . What they forgot to think of was the after effect; Infections, Labor complications, Death and so on . I guess it all didn't matter as long as her purity was kept for her.
 The Arabs however have been less creative , They decided that the hymen would be a great indicator of a girl's virginity . So in Egypt for example the bed sheets must be stained with blood and hanged over the balcony for the whole neighborhood to see, this is then followed by drum playing and a celebration - So much for Romance and easing the tension. 
In Turkey , things are less of a national celebration but rather a family affair. A small handkerchief is stained and then wrapped in a garment and given to the Groom's mother who present's it to the bride's in-laws with pride. and so on through most of the Arabian peninsula. .  

Unfortunately that hasn't been working out quite well . Apparently the hymen comes in different forms. Some more elastic than others, Some perforated and some non-existent to begin with.Like most parts of the female body , the hymen is no exception to the changes that happen after puberty. Thus Horse riding, Bike riding, sprints, and many other physical activities can break the precious purity ring. At other times, A woman can be well into her pregnancy and still have an intact hymen

 " OH MY GOD IT MUST BE A MIRACLE!!! ,SHE MUST BE ONE OF THE CHOSEN FEW!!! TAKBIIRRR - ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAHU AKBAR!!!! ILYLYLYLYLYYYYYYYYYY" - smell my sarcasm yet ??. 

It's sad to think some husbands, brothers, and fathers would kill their spouses, sisters and daughters over a mucous membrane that has no physiological significance. 


Honestly , Don't you think God would be fair and place a hymen on every male too , if it's purpose was to indicate Virginity , purity etc etc etc. I mean Obviously God is All-Just and just to make things even more convincing . When accusing someone of premarital sex , notice how there is no mention of a vaginal checkup or a must staining of a cloth . On the contrary you cannot accuse someone of adultery unless you have 4 witnesses to the act and a confession from the person being accused . 


Now take a moment to contemplate the issue at hand. Imagine the countless number of girls who have been ridiculed and shamed by society by such a myth. Imagine the number of women who have lost their lifes in these so called honour killings because her virginity was being questioned. Imagine the millions of little 5 year olds who have died because of FGM and the thousands who continue to suffer from it's effects upto this day .

Do you still think the hymen is that important. Is the price payed for such ignorance through the years still not enough ? Shall we continue to undermine and humiliate little girls for another decade before we snap out of this cultural craze? 




- For those of you still interested in reading more on the topic, Read The myth of the hymen this is a beautiful article by a muslim female who really takes the time and effort to break into it all . 

Eathquake Alert - Aftermath

I think I'll start this post off with a curse . A curse on the idiot who thought it would be funny to pull an April's fool 6 months early. May the Ground split into two and drag you six feet under !!!!.
Yes the Earthquake alert was a huge prank. But it sure had almost everyone scared .


So At around 2:30 am My phone starts ringing, while I snored away , I could tell something was making a very annoying sound but oh well I just imagined it was the background music to my awesome dream which I can't even remember now . Two minutes later my little sister is literally running circles in the room and yelling out "AN EARTHQUAKE'S COMING ..IT'S COMINGGG OMG OMG OMG" . She tries to tell me that we're all dying and it takes me a good one minute to take in everything she's saying . when it finally got through I ran in circles with her , felt my heart pound right out of my chest and eventually got to waking the rest of the house up. 
By now everyone was terrified , except for my cousin who found it all nonsensical and did not even bother to get out of bed . As we sat contemplating what to do next , we decided to get dressed, grab our passports and money and stand outside the house. I managed to get in a blog post and a facebook status update right before we headed out 

 ( this is to show how social networks have over the years undermined something as serious as possible death )

" Oh you guys pray for me I'm about to die  wink wink kisses :)" 

2 hours later and we're still sitting on our doorstep waiting for some 5.0 devastating earthquake to hit. We were freezing and starving but still terrified of heading back in .To make things worse the city dogs were having a singing choir  and every time they would start howling we would stand and squat a little , making sure our legs were firm on the ground. Apparently the howling of Dogs is an ineffective indicator of an earthquake coming - lesson learned.
 It was only at around 5:30 am when the sun rose that we realized this was a horrible prank . We headed back in and that was the end of it - Just another day in Borama, Somaliland/North Somalia

Earthquake alert

So it's 3:07 am and I just got a phone call that there's probably going to be a really bad earthquake anytime through tonight. I am freaked out and the fact that I've never been through any sort of Earthquake drill makes me even the less capable to deal with anything . I know that hiding under tables and staying away from windows is completely useless in this part of the world . The Only drill I know of is "Run For Your Lives" . The  housing infrastructure is so weak , a mere 3.0 would bring it down to rubble.

To those of you awake at this very hour , Your prayers would be of much value to all of us in Borama and it's surroundings . Keep them Du'as coming please.
Goodnight 

Foreigner in My own Country

I bet you all are wondering what could I possibly mean with such a strange topic . My fellow Somalis might think I am referring to tribalism and what not . Ofcourse that would be relevant to the Subject in hand . But I am referring to the strange , unreasonable politics within Somalia  and it's many regions ( that Includes Somaliland).

So last month after a 2 month holiday in Kenya , I landed in Berbera Airport . As we made our way through the Immigration booth I handed the officer my Somali passport .The next few moments would introduce me to the sad reality that Being Somali meant being Homeless. As I waited for the officer to stamp my passport and hand it back , he casually asked me for 30 dollars . When I asked him what for , he was quick to tell me I was a "Foreign Passport Holder" . It literally took me a good 2 minutes to completely comprehend what he was saying . How could I be a Foreigner in Somalia when my Document clearly stated I am Somali !!!!. He then quickly mentioned how in Somaliland, (yet to be recognised Independent Country, still recognised by the International communtiy as Somalia) they classify  the "New Somali passport " as foreign and If I had the old green one I wouldn't have to pay .

To those of you not familiar with the Somali passport system. Back in the days when Somalia had a functional , capable government run by Siad Barre , there was this green  passport. As Somalia progressed into Civil war and with the fall of the government , The Somali passport had become the easiest travelling document to forge . Anyone could get it . As long as you had a few American dollars on you You would become a Somali Citizen in less than 24 hours.
Fast forward 15 years and Abdulahi Yusuf came into power . He introduced the Somali E-passport and discontinued the old one, making it mandatory on every Somali willing to travel to get the new Document ( the blue one), a blessing for most Somalis in the Diaspora with a Somali passport. Less forging , more authentic documents , recognized travel document

To sum things up , the old Somali document is not recognized anymore , and 9 out of 10 times you will not be granted entry into any country with it . On the Other hand the Somaliland Government has yet to be recognized , therefore making any S.Land travelling document worthless. So the question is what would make me a national of Northern Somalia/ Somaliland ? . A travel document that is no longer recognized or one that has yet to be recognized? 

Quranic Schools and it's Teachers

Before I begin this post I just want to make it clear this is not an attack on anyone or any Religious institutions . these are my observations and thoughts , you are free to agree or disagree. 

About 3 years ago , I enrolled in a Quranic school in my neighbourhood .I explained to the Teacher how I had classes early in the morning , and I just needed someone to correct my recitations . He agreed to let me go as soon as I was done with my recitations.  2 weeks later I dropped out and vowed to never return to a Quranic school . My reasons were simple . One morning I arrived about 5 mins late and as soon as I walked in and sat down . I was asked to stand once more . When I stood I was asked why I was late infront of a class of about 30 students. I simply said I had some things to deal with at home and it was personal. The teacher then asked me to extend my hand forward as he pulled out a rather long tree branch. I refused and he went on to hit me wherever he could. I was outraged . Here I was being whooped by some Sheikh who claimed to know the religion. 

Sadly that is nothing compared to what others have to deal with on a daily basis . I have witnessed little boys being spanked with a piece of tire , others are locked up in a room with chains attached to their legs . they are left in there for a day or two with no food or toilet breaks. Some even go as far as to leave you out in the sun around noon, barefoot.

Like I stated earlier , this is not a campaign to shame and ridicule all Quranic teacher and Dugsiis . However  this is to raise awareness as to what really happens in many Quranic schools. 
I think Parents should pay more attention to where they send their kids to study , the circumstances of the institution, have a sit down with the teacher , and most importantly talk to your children, find out if anything has happened to them in class and so forth. Alot of the times, Religious figures are exempt from all public criticism and questioning . Parents don’t believe their children when they tell them about what the Sheikh did and often punish them for speaking in such a manner about a Man of faith . And with the lack of a regulatory committee in most cities and countries ,Becoming a Quranic teacher has attracted pedophiles and extremists equally to freely abuse little girls and boys physically , mentally and sexually .

I think it’s about time people stopped placing certain individuals on a podium with full immunity . Every action has a consequence , and for those people who do not have the heart or the mind to know what they are doing is wrong . the legal consequence is the only thing that keeps them straight.

In my opinion Quranic teachers should be forced to take a course on teaching methodology , get a diploma , and get a license to teach. there should be some form of Regulatory committee for Quranic Schools , a curriculum , a set of rules and regulations to follow and regular visits from this committee to see how things are being run . It’s about time the same amount of importance is placed on Quranic schools just like Academic Schools and Institutions. 

Not fitting the Stereotype - You are a Woman

It was noon , and everyone was tired after a long morning of lectures and studying. We started arguing about the wording of a formal letter written to the dean of the University . Being the one who wrote it I was defensive . My grammar skills were being questioned and I was offended.It started out as an intellectual argument but then out of nowhere the following words were being yelled out 

 " You are a girl , have some shame . Girls do not talk like that" .

  It was the first time my intellect was looked down at simply because of my gender. I could not comprehend what had just happened.It was not the letter that was flawed , it was not my grammar that was mistaken. We were not having an Intellectual argument. This was a Guy that was offended a female could do a good job without asking for assistance. these were a group of guys who were yelling out profanities so as to demean me and break my confidence. What they did not know was I was not about to fall into their stereotype of what a female should be like. I was not going to be forced to change and lower my IQ simply because that was what they were accustomed to .  


I was In Somalia , a failed state where little boys were raised to think that they were somehow smarter, privileged and entitled to more than a female. Sexism was something foreign to me . An issue I would read about or watch other women make a big deal of.  It was heartbreaking to not only see it firsthand but to experience it as well. 
This was where so called religious schools teach girls and boys that women are lacking in mental capability , that a women's place is at home in the kitchen . this is where teachers are shocked when female students are on honor rolls and tell the boys to step up their education and not let "A girl beat you ". 


Fortunately I was blessed to be in a class with 6 other strong females who felt as I did. The first three years of medical school was a struggle. We were outnumbered and constantly fighting for our voices to be heard. 5 years later I am glad to say we did it . We forced them to treat us with the respect we deserved. Our voices are clearly heard and our opinions are held with importance . Over the course of these years a fellow female classmate and I had the opportunity to be Class presidents . And the lower classes have been influenced and have in turn elected Female Class presidents as well .Something that has not happened before.


That day back in 2007 , was the beginning of our journey into breaking stereotypes, defying cultural norms and changing mindsets for the better. I was only 16 years old , fresh out of high school and naive to what being a Somali female really meant back home . I have the highest form of respect for all women who have had the strength to push forward even when everything was pulling them, You are all an Inspiration to everyone.

For those women in Somalia. Where there is no law to protect them and no culture to stand by them. I pray for all of you and may you have the strength to not give into stereotypes and cultural bullshit. Someday your story will be heard and your struggle will be a source of empowerment for others. 

Sexual Abuse and Homosexuality - Common misconceptions

Before I begin I’d like to make it clear this post is not Intended to criticize, shame or in anyway ridicule Homosexuals. I personally do not care how people express their sexuality, that is their private bussiness and should be treated according.

Recently I ran into this blog called “An Arab Survivor of childhood Abuse” [ a great blog that creates awareness and highlights the memories of a Childood Sexual Abuse victim ] and one of his posts was titled “Am I Gay” . As I read it I remembered some videos I watched on youtube a few years back which was basically an Interview with young arabs who explained how they turned gay. A lot of the times when asked what made you Turn this way ? - Aside from the regular ” I’ve always felt different than other boys” and so on they would usually state their first sexual encounter as being raped or forced into Sex.

I have always heard people state “Once a boy is raped , he sometimes ends up going back to the same act willingly and eventually becomes homosexual”. This might at first sound a little exaggerated but looking into the science of it. It just might be logical:

 Every male has a gland, where doctors refer to as a prostate. The function of the prostate is to store and secrete a slightly alkaline fluid, milky or white in appearance, that usually constitutes 20-30% of the volume of the semen along with spermatozoa and seminal vesicle fluid. (source: Wikipedia) One of the ways to get an erection is by stimulating or massaging the prostate. The prostate gland is just below the bladder, behind the pubic bone and just in front of the rectum. When being raped, the abuser directly stimulates the prostate which results in an erection and sometimes even an ejaculation..  

Most Victims of Sexual Abuse might not know that although you are being forced into it, your body will not realize the difference .Which Leaves them feeling guilty for enjoying such an act of violation, Or considering themselves gay because according to them “no straight male would enjoy such an act”, when in the contrary if any male was put in the same situation , their body would have  reacted in the same exact way. 

One of the things lacking in great parts of Asia and Africa in general is Counselling for victims of rape, Domestic violence and so on. Alot of it owing back to how these things are considered Inappropriate to speak of and usually kept behind closed doors , Leaving the victim stuck in that state of feeling used, responsible for the act and forever a cast from society. Over the past few years the number of kidnappings and abuse of little boys has increased greatly alongside the number of individuals who come out as being homosexual. Maybe and this is just a hypothesis : This could be due to a misunderstanding or lack of knowledge that just because your body responds in a particular way during rape or sexual Abuse, it does not mean you are automatically considered Gay/Homosexual. 

PS: This does not mean everyone who is gay has been raped or Sexually abused, or everyone who is victimized is gay. It is simply a different perspective on things and should be viewed objectively. The correlation between rape and homosexuality that I stated is relevant to the middle east and the Arab world in general . I do not know if it is applicable elsewhere.