Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ?

It started out as a random statement that came out of nowhere "I hope I do not marry a man from clan X" . Interested I asked " why not ? "
And the response was one of the strangest story I've heard over the years:

Well haven't you heard of the phrase "Xagaag Xalimo (Summer Halimo) " . As I waved my head in response, she said ; See in that part of Somalia , when it get's really hot in the summer, women go to cities where it's cooler, taking their children along and leaving the husbands behind since they're working. While they're gone, some of their husbands marry a second wife and settle her into the first wife's home. Just before wife one comes back from her summer holidays he either divorces wife 2 or settles her in a home on the other side of town , keeping her a summer secret never to be known by his "Formal wife" . Hence the name Xagaag Xalimos - they're a Summer fling.  

Over the years I thought I had heard every kind of Strange Somali story. But this was one that I've never imagined of hearing over my 20 years of living. Naturally my mind started imagining if I was in place of any of those women who went on a summer holiday only to come back and find another woman walking through the halls of their living room. Of all the emotions I imagined feeling, rage would be the one to take control. The absurdity of that situation would be beyond words, and what would follow would range from simple name calling to the death of a man who could not control his lust, and in the most extreme of cases it would include the death of a Xagaag Xalimo as well.

For the Sake of the men in that city , I hope that story is simply gossip mentioned over afternoon teas for a good laugh.
Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ? and Do you think it is based on true stories ? 

Eathquake Alert - Aftermath

I think I'll start this post off with a curse . A curse on the idiot who thought it would be funny to pull an April's fool 6 months early. May the Ground split into two and drag you six feet under !!!!.
Yes the Earthquake alert was a huge prank. But it sure had almost everyone scared .


So At around 2:30 am My phone starts ringing, while I snored away , I could tell something was making a very annoying sound but oh well I just imagined it was the background music to my awesome dream which I can't even remember now . Two minutes later my little sister is literally running circles in the room and yelling out "AN EARTHQUAKE'S COMING ..IT'S COMINGGG OMG OMG OMG" . She tries to tell me that we're all dying and it takes me a good one minute to take in everything she's saying . when it finally got through I ran in circles with her , felt my heart pound right out of my chest and eventually got to waking the rest of the house up. 
By now everyone was terrified , except for my cousin who found it all nonsensical and did not even bother to get out of bed . As we sat contemplating what to do next , we decided to get dressed, grab our passports and money and stand outside the house. I managed to get in a blog post and a facebook status update right before we headed out 

 ( this is to show how social networks have over the years undermined something as serious as possible death )

" Oh you guys pray for me I'm about to die  wink wink kisses :)" 

2 hours later and we're still sitting on our doorstep waiting for some 5.0 devastating earthquake to hit. We were freezing and starving but still terrified of heading back in .To make things worse the city dogs were having a singing choir  and every time they would start howling we would stand and squat a little , making sure our legs were firm on the ground. Apparently the howling of Dogs is an ineffective indicator of an earthquake coming - lesson learned.
 It was only at around 5:30 am when the sun rose that we realized this was a horrible prank . We headed back in and that was the end of it - Just another day in Borama, Somaliland/North Somalia

INSIDE JOKES!!!!

a few months back i ran across these set of videos on youtube, and they had me on the floor with tears in my eyes ,laughin soooo hard!!!! . its sad its got to stop at part 3 . but ENJOYYY !!!  

 WARYA C'MON SON!!!! ...

Earthquakes, Heavy rains and Volcanoes !!!!

THIS IS NOT  A GEOGRAPHY COURSE - DO NOT PANIC!!!!! 




now the story behind this weird title:

few days back, as we sat around gossiping on the hottest, latest stories . it started "EATHQUAKING"
now for a group of girls who've never been through any kind of drill , the greatest idea at the time was :RUNNN FOR IT !!!! 
to where ?? i dont know . as we made it out the building, and the earthquake stopped. everyone started " the nervous giggle" .[this is how it goes: aha ..ahaha...wo0w pheww  ]. now being somalis, im sure this is how hooyo explains earthquakes or any other natural disaster : "DANBII AYAA BADTAYY ...ISTAGFURALLAH ISTAGFURALLAH ..GO PRAY!!! ..ITS NOT FUNNY !!!!". so flashbacks of hooyo's words cut our gossip short, everyone went home , prayed to god for forgivness , read a few quranic verses and went to bed .

THE NEXT DAY:  [in the suuq]

heblayo : do you know the reason for these kinda earthquakes ??
xalimo: ummm too much danbii maybe
cambaro: walahi true, omg maybe 2012 wasnt so stupid afterall
heblayo : no i mean scientifically!!!! .."I HEARD" its because theres an active volcano close by  
[ emphasis on heard: you would think she read it in a book or something.. guess again ; this is the "SCIENCE" of the khaat chewing men, or the old ladies on their morning grocery trips!!!] 
xalimo : o.O..your crazy
cambaro: naya Science kulaha...WE'R GOIN TO HELL!!! 
 [ very typical somali reaction ]

heblayo : WALAHIIII !!!!!!!
heblayo: and whenever theres an earthquake, it rains after it
cambaro : yaeh i heard that too .. waa ruun, because the ground breathes when it shakes  so0 that forms alotta clouds , you know dee  the whole gas release thingy  [ i dont know, but that just reminds me of little kids when they want to fart]
xalimo: uhuu..yaeh sure it does .. where do you get this stuff
.......everyone else is ROTFL by now

 heblayo: U'LL C..ITS GONNA RAIN 

2 days later it really does rain , and not just rain . i mean like heavy rain!!!. ; as for the volcano , apparently earthquakes can cause volcanic activity .

now im not sure about the science behind  all of this. but if you hear a somali woman explaining something that does not make sense. you best believe its true!!! .and if she tells you to do things a certain way, and you know "the world" does it another way. then, FORGET THE WORLD, THE OLD LADY IS NEVER WRONG!!!

PS : NEVER EVER ARGUE WITH AN OLD SOMALI LADY . WHY ?? ..well

1. she will dacas you down until you know she is right
2. im sure as hell you do not want to get cursed by them, it might sound superstitious
but if they curse you , EXPECT A BAD DAY IN YOUR NEAR FUTURE!!!!


02. april :
okay update story : this is probably worse than the volcanoes and the gorund breathing ; THERE IS A SNAKE TWISTING INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN EVERYTIME THERE'S AN EARTHQUAKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!....honestly i am speechless
behold the reasoning of the somali community