Breast Cancer Awareness

the Adenoma after it was removed surgically [ larger than a fist]

Earlier this year , my cousin had a "Breast Cancer Scare" . She had had this lump on her right breast for over 6 months but had kept it a secret from the family . Eventually it got worse to the point where walking or even bending forward was painful .
Alhamdulilah it wasn't breast cancer but a benign adenoma .

If there is one thing I want to pass out through this post , it has to be the importance of a Self Breast exam . Some of us might be lucky enough to learn about it in schools and other public health education programs but most of us have simply heard of it or we've never been bothered enough to do it .

Please do check these video out [CLICK HERE] for how to do a proper self breast exam. it's only a minute long and I promise you it will be helpful. 

You might think well I'm not really at risk for breast cancer so why bother right? . WRONG !!!
the simple fact that you are a woman puts you at risk for breast cancer aside from all the other risk factors.


What Can you do to Lower your chances of getting it? 

Unlike your gender, there are certain things you can modify to lower your risk of getting cancer.
One that would be relevant for many of the younger generation is Smoking !!! . And No, smoking does not only mean cigarettes. It includes Shiisha, cannabis and whatever seems to be out there that involves lighting up and inhaling .

To the Women with Children - BREASTFEED if you can !!!!. it's been proven that breastfeeding for over a year can lower your risk of getting breast cancer . Subhan-Allah is it not amazing how the Holy Quran mentions breastfeeding for 2 years  .

there is a famous saying that goes like " You are what you eat" and that couldn't be anymore true.
A healthy lifestyle not only lowers your risk of breast cancer but also Hypertension, Diabetes, Strokes, etc etc etc .
A sedentary lifestyle is not a lifestyle!!! it's a highway to illness and painful death.
So, Eat more Bananas with lunch , go for a walk or Dance it off GANGNAM STYLE. Switch your sodas for a home made fruit cocktail and
PLEASE DO NOT RE-USE THE FRYING OIL even if that means getting into an argument with hooyo  [it's been shown to increase your risk of cancer]  

If you do notice any of the changes mentioned in the picture , Do make an appointment with your doctor ASAP !! and get it looked at [ that does not mean next month or 6 months later - the earlier the better ] 

And Finally Breast Cancer is not an exclusively women's only disease . Men can get breast cancer as well . so to all the brothers If you TOO notice any changes , go see a doctor immediately.  

For those of you interested in reading more on it : Do check out BreastCancer.org

Fanatic Feminism And the Hijab Drama

When people want to brutally criticize Islam and how it mistreats women , They usually fail to see the bigger picture . They are quick to jump on how women are treated in Afghanistan and how they cannot attend schools. Or In Saudi Arabia and how women there do not vote or drive .Or how In Iran women are so brutally stoned for adultery, Or the entire muslim world and the enormous number of Honour killings and Child brides.

OH MY GOD , ISLAM IS SUCH A SEXIST, MALE DOMINANT RELIGION !!. Lets Ban the Niqab and the Hijab , Lets Ban praying in Universities, Lets Ban everything Islamic and The women will be free !!!! I bet the only reason they wear that rag is because of their husbands, brothers and fathers, I bet the only reason they’re praying like that is because they must be forced to do so . OH POOR LITTLE THINGS!!!! POWER TO THE WOMEN!!! …. 

 And I laugh at the irony : Oppression under the name of freedom

Have you asked yourselves why the things you call Islamic change from one muslim country to another ? How is it that other muslim girls go to school in other muslim countries ? and how is it that muslim women around the world drive and vote? Did you consider that these were all different cultures and traditions ?
OH MY ,DID I JUST BLOW UP YOUR LITTLE BUBBLE OF FANATIC FEMINISM ?

There is no such thing as Honour killings in Islam. It is Forbidden and should be treated like any other murder, it does not exist in the Quran or the Sunnah and carrying out such an act should be punished!. There is Nothing in the Quran or the Sunnah that prohibit women from gaining knowledge from school or Universities. On the contrary the very first words of the Holy Quran revealed were “READ” . The prophet’s wife Aisha was one of the greatest Scholars of her time, Men and Women went to her for Knowledge and advice. She was the equivalent of today’s Harvard University. There is no Obligation for muslim women to wear the Niqab , it is a matter of choice . So the next time you see a muslim Ninja female, Do not be quick to blame her husband, brother or father .Islam is a choice , you can choose to follow it or you can choose not to -Only God will judge you on it . However Culture and tradition is  often NOT a choice , if you fail to follow it - Society will judge you 

Let’s scream for women’s rights together, Lets Help victims of rape and domestic abuse, Lets put our efforts into getting better work and schooling opportunities for women . But please Lets not blame Religion for the Ignorance of some fools.

Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ?

It started out as a random statement that came out of nowhere "I hope I do not marry a man from clan X" . Interested I asked " why not ? "
And the response was one of the strangest story I've heard over the years:

Well haven't you heard of the phrase "Xagaag Xalimo (Summer Halimo) " . As I waved my head in response, she said ; See in that part of Somalia , when it get's really hot in the summer, women go to cities where it's cooler, taking their children along and leaving the husbands behind since they're working. While they're gone, some of their husbands marry a second wife and settle her into the first wife's home. Just before wife one comes back from her summer holidays he either divorces wife 2 or settles her in a home on the other side of town , keeping her a summer secret never to be known by his "Formal wife" . Hence the name Xagaag Xalimos - they're a Summer fling.  

Over the years I thought I had heard every kind of Strange Somali story. But this was one that I've never imagined of hearing over my 20 years of living. Naturally my mind started imagining if I was in place of any of those women who went on a summer holiday only to come back and find another woman walking through the halls of their living room. Of all the emotions I imagined feeling, rage would be the one to take control. The absurdity of that situation would be beyond words, and what would follow would range from simple name calling to the death of a man who could not control his lust, and in the most extreme of cases it would include the death of a Xagaag Xalimo as well.

For the Sake of the men in that city , I hope that story is simply gossip mentioned over afternoon teas for a good laugh.
Have you heard of Xagaag Xalimo ? and Do you think it is based on true stories ? 

Not fitting the Stereotype - You are a Woman

It was noon , and everyone was tired after a long morning of lectures and studying. We started arguing about the wording of a formal letter written to the dean of the University . Being the one who wrote it I was defensive . My grammar skills were being questioned and I was offended.It started out as an intellectual argument but then out of nowhere the following words were being yelled out 

 " You are a girl , have some shame . Girls do not talk like that" .

  It was the first time my intellect was looked down at simply because of my gender. I could not comprehend what had just happened.It was not the letter that was flawed , it was not my grammar that was mistaken. We were not having an Intellectual argument. This was a Guy that was offended a female could do a good job without asking for assistance. these were a group of guys who were yelling out profanities so as to demean me and break my confidence. What they did not know was I was not about to fall into their stereotype of what a female should be like. I was not going to be forced to change and lower my IQ simply because that was what they were accustomed to .  


I was In Somalia , a failed state where little boys were raised to think that they were somehow smarter, privileged and entitled to more than a female. Sexism was something foreign to me . An issue I would read about or watch other women make a big deal of.  It was heartbreaking to not only see it firsthand but to experience it as well. 
This was where so called religious schools teach girls and boys that women are lacking in mental capability , that a women's place is at home in the kitchen . this is where teachers are shocked when female students are on honor rolls and tell the boys to step up their education and not let "A girl beat you ". 


Fortunately I was blessed to be in a class with 6 other strong females who felt as I did. The first three years of medical school was a struggle. We were outnumbered and constantly fighting for our voices to be heard. 5 years later I am glad to say we did it . We forced them to treat us with the respect we deserved. Our voices are clearly heard and our opinions are held with importance . Over the course of these years a fellow female classmate and I had the opportunity to be Class presidents . And the lower classes have been influenced and have in turn elected Female Class presidents as well .Something that has not happened before.


That day back in 2007 , was the beginning of our journey into breaking stereotypes, defying cultural norms and changing mindsets for the better. I was only 16 years old , fresh out of high school and naive to what being a Somali female really meant back home . I have the highest form of respect for all women who have had the strength to push forward even when everything was pulling them, You are all an Inspiration to everyone.

For those women in Somalia. Where there is no law to protect them and no culture to stand by them. I pray for all of you and may you have the strength to not give into stereotypes and cultural bullshit. Someday your story will be heard and your struggle will be a source of empowerment for others. 

Rape, Teen Pregnancies and Society

Last night as my mom , the maid and I sat watching tv. My mom mentioned how 2 girls were raped a few days ago by 3 guys on their way home .The maid instantly jumped in and said

 ”They knew the guys , they didn’t just get kidnapped and raped , so they deserve what happened to them”.

 Before I could respond , my mom was already at it :

 ” Just because they knew them does not give them the right to rape .Would you be okay with getting raped just because you were out with a guy ?.  No one deserves to be raped and those men should be sentenced for life”.

It was only then I realized how Rape and teen Pregnancies have become fairly common over the last few years in this part of the world. 

I cannot even begin to put my frustration into words when it comes to rape. But when in Somalia, Rape takes on a whole new dimension. Rape in Somalia is a quick way to make money for some. You are probably wondering how ? . Let me Introduce you to the Clan Ideology : If any harm happens to you , your Clan serve as your Justice system.There will be a meeting with the victim’s clan Seniors and the Offenders clan seniors. They will discuss the amount of damage caused and the most suitable ruling. Usually the only suitable ruling is a certain sum of money set by the Victim’s Clan. So when a girl does get raped , the rapist does not get punished in any way or form. However the two clans have a sit together and decide on the number of dollars to be payed as a form of compensation.Now here’s the interesting part .This so called compensation for the girl never makes it into her hands , However it is divided among the Clan members and the closest it get’s to the lawful recepient is through her father . A mere 2-4% of the actual compensation.the offender always walks away free of charge with a simple scolding not  to repeat the offense so as his Clan do not have to pay anymore money. Behold the Clan/tribe Ideology!!!!. That is only One of the many reasons why Rape is so frequent around this place. Another reason being that very thinking so many people share ; TURNING THE VICTIM INTO THE CULPRIT.  

“Oh why was she out after 9pm” .

” why was she with a guy in the first place” .

” Why was she walking in that part of town alone” .

” Why was she dressed in that manner” 

She brought it on herself ,SHE WAS ASKING FOR IT , SHE DESERVES IT !! SAY NO TO SYMPATHY , SAY NO TO LOGIC , SAY NO TO REASONING!!!

I just don’t understand these statements. Nobody wants to be raped . It could happen to anyone really . It could happen at 12pm noon, to a woman dressed like a ninja. It is society that is messed up for trying to make excuses for such kind of people. Why not make excuses for the victim instead. Why not Question the offender’s behavior. Why not for once put aside all the sexism and Just say right from wrong.

About a year ago I did a post on teen girls burning themselves for what I considered silly reasons .[ here’s the post ]. Back then Rape was not so common, However there was a reasonable number of teen pregnancies.

Back in march this year I was assigned to the Gyn/Obs ward at the general Hospital in town , we did 6 days a week , 7 hour shifts for 3 months. The one thing that caught my attention during that period was the number of little girls that were coming in pregnant. Before this time , I was only familiar with the daily gossip that went around town but what I was not aware of was the actual scale of this issue.But what made this even more interesting is how when they were asked about the father of the child , Most of them responded in the same manner :

He refused to claim responsibility for the child and is in no way planning to be a part of this.  

Most of these girls were lured in with dreams of being married and finding her happily ever after. They were all promised love and support , only to be used and dumped. For those of you that are sitting there thinking “Oh well she did consent to it ,She should take responsibility for it .” Isn’t the fact that she is going through with the pregnancy while still in school enough proof of her owning up to her mistake. But my question is why not place the same harsh stigmas on the other person involved,Afterall it was not a pen that impregnated her. It is that guy you make excuses for time and time again

” Oh he was young and naive” .

” He will grow to be a fine gentleman” .

“She seduced him into it , he would never have done it otherwise” 

Insanity ?? ..OR .....

A MONTH LATER : ......
Inaa hebel maa aragtay ?? [ did u see ....??] 
allah didnt you hear , wayy hiinastay oo darkii bay digtaay [ she went insane ] 


I'm not sure how common this is in other Somali communities, but in Borame its " THE PHENOMENON OF THE DECADE" . 
here's how it all started  :


zahra was a beauty queen back in her youth , she was a symbol of beauty, the talk of the town and envied by many . she was every man's dream and every ugly girl's nightmare. now one  cursed day prince charming came along, promising her everlasting happiness in his kingdom, she would be his "ONE AND ONLY" *coughs*, his PRINCESS  [ y would she settle for a princess status when she was a queen !!! .. she probably didn't realize just like so many ] .. he swept her off her feet filling her world with dreams and hopes and fantasies. now when they got married and zahra gave birth to 4 kids [ with no break in between because of the hyper-sexual ass] , she was hit with a huge responsibility and lost herself in the midst of diaper changing, breast feeding , and so0 much more. THE Princess status was dropped and now she was running around being a waitress, incubator and a pleasure doll . Prince charming married another gORGEOUS young Queen and Zahra found out weeks later , 


now i would personally handicap the bastard, throw him out , clear him bankrupt and divorce him
sadly divorce is still frowned upon in this side of the world , and women in Borame are way too passive. 
so0 how did Zahra respond : 


well she went into severe depression, turned into a ticking time bomb from all the stress , and blew up one sunny Saturday . her children where taken by the man's family and Zahra was chained to a bed so0 she wouldn't create a public scene [ as in take off her clothes in front of stores and scream : AM I NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH ?? WHATS IT THAT SHE HAS AND I DONT ??]
              the reason women are loosing it is  99.999%  because of  - MEN!!!!!!!  [ i'm not HATING  but its true!!! ] 

FOR THE IDIOTS  who would argue a man is allowed four wives in our religion : A MAN is allowed to marry four wives, however there are rules before he can do so..  YOU CANT JUST BE BROKE  and expect to marry four and have 40 kids ... WTF!! THEY ARE YOUR KIDS AS MUCH AS THEY ARE HERS !!! IT JUST DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY . YOU WANNA MARRY FOUR, YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF DOING SO [ yes i got worked up for a sec there excuse the caps] 
                               
I know most somalis don't believe in psychology , and think going to see a psychiatrist to solve your issues, is a sign of lack of faith . [ that explains the nonexistence of somali psychiatrists in somalia ] 

now if common sense was existent i would agree with that thinking , but common sense has died a few 100 years ago, and since it isnt going to be resurrected anytime soon, id say take the preventive measures to a happier life .. confused ?? this is how you do it : 

 I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING   " DIARIES OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN " ,  AND LIVE YOUR LIFE BY THE FAMOUS QUOTE : WHEN YOU SEE THE SIGNS - KICK HIM OUT AND TAKE ALL HIS POSSESSIONS , and you will live happily ever after - GURANTEED FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DECADES !!!!! 

A day in a Somali's life [female version]

5:00 am - its fajr time, the sun isn't out yet but everyone is up and running , men are off to the mosques, women are praying at home .
5:30 am - payers done. everyone goes bac to sleep but mom stays up, starts the morning fire and has the tea boiling [ takes about 30 min on wood fire] in the meantime, she sweeps the house, gets the house chores done and she's back in the kitchen.
now its time for the laxoox/ injera [ making it takes so much skill, its amazing just watching it being made .ART AT ITS BEST!!!].
6:30 am - time to get the kids ready for school, everybody is up and its rush hour in the house. everyone's calling for hooyoo, husband wants his breakfast, kids are fighting over pencils . its a miracle hooyo gets everyone ready in time.
7:30 am - the house is at peace again. hooyoo eats her breakfast, cleans up whatever mess the family made,  gets ready, and heads for the market [ this is pretty much the somali version of a saloon. where women release their daily stress, and get last night's headlines in a min]
8:30 am - she is back with the grocery and the latest gossip. satisfied with the headlines. she takes a moment to sit back and reflect
9:00 am - 12:30 pm - back in the kitchen, hooyoo struggles with a meal enough for 9 people
12:30 pm - everyone is back. kids complain about school, husband complains about work. everyone wants attention because his/her day was just exhausting.

husband: heblayo what's for lunch??
kids: yuckyy i dont want bariis
husband: what is this?? why didnt you make maraaq?
kids: uuuuufff NOO I WONT EAT IT
husband: im not hungry anymore, im tired of this

1:30 pm : finally everyone is in bed, and zzzZZzz'in away. hooyoo stays up, washes the dishes, and tries to finish laundry [ there is no washing machines, 2 buckets of water, soap and alot of hand action does the job]
3:30 pm: everyone is up again, and its chaos all over. the husband heads downtown with his friends, khaat chewing and enjoying the hottest on the political wagon.
4:00 - 8:00pm: hooyoo stays with kids, helping out with homework, and keeping peace in the house. somewhere in between she makes dinner, laxoox again while watching over abdi and mohamad.
8:30pm: kids are put to sleep, and hooyoo gets a moment of silence .....
11:00pm: daddy is back, high as ever, and louder than loud. replaying every political detail, and cursing at reer hebel, and blaming ina hebel for the country's situation. finally he is done and exhausted
12:00pm: the day is over, and hooyoo gets to get some good night sleep
 
                        5:00 am : it's fajr time .....................

Empowering African Women

Its 8 am in the morning, another regular day in a beautiful, sun kissed African city. Everything seems so perfect until you see a 60+ woman carrying this incredibly heavy load on her back and all by herself. Normal commonsense refuses this image by reasoning: does she have no male figure to help out? , sons perhaps, maybe even a nephew or a grandson. But we dismiss the view, making an excuse for a situation so wrong. Few blocks ahead there is this adorable 4 year old little girl, only problem is she is balancing a 2 year old on one hip while holding the hand of another child. Once again, commonsense finds this very disturbing. You ask yourself: why is a child taking care of “CHILDREN”, where are the”adults” responsible for them. Yet again we dismiss away the picture.
the reason why nobody will do something about a situation that seems so wrong, is because everyone is waiting for somebody else to take charge, That “SUPERMAN” who will take the first step to addressing an issue that has been around since the beginning of times; “WOMEN = NO RIGHTS” .

For a continent that is blessed with unimaginable amounts of riches, beauty and all that Mother Nature has to offer. The one thing that is still not appreciated is “WOMEN”. Although the world seems to be making progress in giving women their human rights, Africa still remains at the bottom of the list of improvement. What astonishes many people is the strength African women are blessed with. In no way is this overstated because, the only women who can stay active for over 16 hours each day; every day of the year, without a single complain and yet not be appreciated are African women.
This is all due to that evil mind twist that has been inflicted upon nations over the centuries, where women are taught to deal with whatever kind of abuse is brought upon them, because they are somehow responsible for it. And while most of the world seems to have come out of their trance, we as Africans are still deep in hypnosis and living in denial.

I think it is time for African women to say no to violence. No matter what kind it is, or who is inflicting it unto you. Let it be physical, emotional, mental, even a social abuse; STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND SAY NO!. Do not let yourself be fooled into taking care of a man, just because he is the “Father” of your children. If his contribution is limited to a sperm; then show him the door and kiss him goodbye. Because I guarantee you, that sperm is a by-product of his blissful moment.
As for the lesson of the ancient scholars, that was so full of wisdom “This is a man’s world” – has indeed proven itself to be so full of bull crap.

So do be that “superman”, and speak up for yourself.
Every time you talk about it, you encourage others to do so too. With every word, you empower an army of women and help the world be a better place for your daughters and granddaughters.