Pages

2 Oct 2012

My Long Feud with The Evil M's

If there is one thing I will never come to terms with . It has got to be the M family .

Over the years since we've first met . My hate for this family has increased to the point where I dream of slowly and painfully debilitating their limbs one at a time - Gross ? . I KNOW !!
I might as well confess that in the past 5 years I have mercilessly killed a few elders in that family [Only because they are the weaker , noticeably easier to catch off guard members]
And this is coming from the girl who screams at the top of her lungs against violence and what not .

Now I know you're probably wondering what has this family done , to earn all my cursing and my SAW like fantasies of mass murder . and this is my story with the M's

Our very first encounter must have been my first day in Borama. After a Long bumpy car ride from Hargeisa . Lying down in the "7osh"[ a version of a backyard]  to enjoy the breath taking weather of the city seemed like such a great idea. But little did I know that I would be brutally attacked , only to wake up to my very first bruise not inflicted by hooyo's flip flop or a WWE match with my siblings [ John Cena fan ^_^ ] . And to make things worse I had no idea where I had gotten it .
So being my superstitious self I blamed it on Jinn and the Evil eye [ Seems reasonable right? ] .

A few bruises later and A trip to the hospital I finally noticed the demonic beings that devoted their life to suck the very blood out of me and leave me with nothing but deformed skin and a bad case of allergies.
I was outraged, frustrated and in tears - Imagine having to face an entire army of blood relatives alone. How could I ever win ? .

Well a few years later and a few 100 battles , I can proudly say I am now a Mosquito fighting Ninja Assassin.
See I'm sure you're all familiar with the Mosquito repellent sprays and creams , But that has definitely got to be tiring and hard to keep up [Considering how hard it is to find them in the first place ] . My repellents would always run out half way through the year and my only way of getting more was begging hooyoo to send me some with the next person heading over to Hargeisa or Borama .

It was then that our maid introduced me to the power of "Foox"/Foo7 [Punt] . See I learned that lighting a little bit of it , not only keeps the M's away but is a blessing on those chilly nights by working much like a heater . [Talk about effecient energy saving and smaller electric bills]

Another Secret is Black seed oil [ 7abat Soda] , let me just mention there is no black seed oil like the ones in Burco [Works perfectly against muscle sprains, colds, allergies - anything basically ] .
I promise you rubbing that on before you sleep will keep the M's away all night .

And finally Don't take your Mosquito Nets lightly . I consider it my safe haven literally . My first 3 months in Borama, I lived inside one and the only time I would step out of it was for a quick dash to the bathroom . God Bless the Maro Kanee3o/Mustakar/Shandarama !!!

And the Most Peculiar method of Killing these tiny Vampires is by getting one of these 


Rubbing any kind of oil all over it and using it much like a shield .
See when you hear that horrible buzzing noise near you , do a swift hand move around you and BAAAMMM - they are trapped .[Make sure you don't hit yourself in the head - that makes you look really dumb and you loose all ninja cool points ]
At this point it is up to you how you would like to end their miserable lives . I personally go for breaking off their needles :) .


Have you met the M's yet and if you did How do you deal with them  ? 

No comments:

Post a Comment