A day in a Somali's life [female version]

5:00 am - its fajr time, the sun isn't out yet but everyone is up and running , men are off to the mosques, women are praying at home .
5:30 am - payers done. everyone goes bac to sleep but mom stays up, starts the morning fire and has the tea boiling [ takes about 30 min on wood fire] in the meantime, she sweeps the house, gets the house chores done and she's back in the kitchen.
now its time for the laxoox/ injera [ making it takes so much skill, its amazing just watching it being made .ART AT ITS BEST!!!].
6:30 am - time to get the kids ready for school, everybody is up and its rush hour in the house. everyone's calling for hooyoo, husband wants his breakfast, kids are fighting over pencils . its a miracle hooyo gets everyone ready in time.
7:30 am - the house is at peace again. hooyoo eats her breakfast, cleans up whatever mess the family made,  gets ready, and heads for the market [ this is pretty much the somali version of a saloon. where women release their daily stress, and get last night's headlines in a min]
8:30 am - she is back with the grocery and the latest gossip. satisfied with the headlines. she takes a moment to sit back and reflect
9:00 am - 12:30 pm - back in the kitchen, hooyoo struggles with a meal enough for 9 people
12:30 pm - everyone is back. kids complain about school, husband complains about work. everyone wants attention because his/her day was just exhausting.

husband: heblayo what's for lunch??
kids: yuckyy i dont want bariis
husband: what is this?? why didnt you make maraaq?
kids: uuuuufff NOO I WONT EAT IT
husband: im not hungry anymore, im tired of this

1:30 pm : finally everyone is in bed, and zzzZZzz'in away. hooyoo stays up, washes the dishes, and tries to finish laundry [ there is no washing machines, 2 buckets of water, soap and alot of hand action does the job]
3:30 pm: everyone is up again, and its chaos all over. the husband heads downtown with his friends, khaat chewing and enjoying the hottest on the political wagon.
4:00 - 8:00pm: hooyoo stays with kids, helping out with homework, and keeping peace in the house. somewhere in between she makes dinner, laxoox again while watching over abdi and mohamad.
8:30pm: kids are put to sleep, and hooyoo gets a moment of silence .....
11:00pm: daddy is back, high as ever, and louder than loud. replaying every political detail, and cursing at reer hebel, and blaming ina hebel for the country's situation. finally he is done and exhausted
12:00pm: the day is over, and hooyoo gets to get some good night sleep
 
                        5:00 am : it's fajr time .....................

Earthquakes, Heavy rains and Volcanoes !!!!

THIS IS NOT  A GEOGRAPHY COURSE - DO NOT PANIC!!!!! 




now the story behind this weird title:

few days back, as we sat around gossiping on the hottest, latest stories . it started "EATHQUAKING"
now for a group of girls who've never been through any kind of drill , the greatest idea at the time was :RUNNN FOR IT !!!! 
to where ?? i dont know . as we made it out the building, and the earthquake stopped. everyone started " the nervous giggle" .[this is how it goes: aha ..ahaha...wo0w pheww  ]. now being somalis, im sure this is how hooyo explains earthquakes or any other natural disaster : "DANBII AYAA BADTAYY ...ISTAGFURALLAH ISTAGFURALLAH ..GO PRAY!!! ..ITS NOT FUNNY !!!!". so flashbacks of hooyo's words cut our gossip short, everyone went home , prayed to god for forgivness , read a few quranic verses and went to bed .

THE NEXT DAY:  [in the suuq]

heblayo : do you know the reason for these kinda earthquakes ??
xalimo: ummm too much danbii maybe
cambaro: walahi true, omg maybe 2012 wasnt so stupid afterall
heblayo : no i mean scientifically!!!! .."I HEARD" its because theres an active volcano close by  
[ emphasis on heard: you would think she read it in a book or something.. guess again ; this is the "SCIENCE" of the khaat chewing men, or the old ladies on their morning grocery trips!!!] 
xalimo : o.O..your crazy
cambaro: naya Science kulaha...WE'R GOIN TO HELL!!! 
 [ very typical somali reaction ]

heblayo : WALAHIIII !!!!!!!
heblayo: and whenever theres an earthquake, it rains after it
cambaro : yaeh i heard that too .. waa ruun, because the ground breathes when it shakes  so0 that forms alotta clouds , you know dee  the whole gas release thingy  [ i dont know, but that just reminds me of little kids when they want to fart]
xalimo: uhuu..yaeh sure it does .. where do you get this stuff
.......everyone else is ROTFL by now

 heblayo: U'LL C..ITS GONNA RAIN 

2 days later it really does rain , and not just rain . i mean like heavy rain!!!. ; as for the volcano , apparently earthquakes can cause volcanic activity .

now im not sure about the science behind  all of this. but if you hear a somali woman explaining something that does not make sense. you best believe its true!!! .and if she tells you to do things a certain way, and you know "the world" does it another way. then, FORGET THE WORLD, THE OLD LADY IS NEVER WRONG!!!

PS : NEVER EVER ARGUE WITH AN OLD SOMALI LADY . WHY ?? ..well

1. she will dacas you down until you know she is right
2. im sure as hell you do not want to get cursed by them, it might sound superstitious
but if they curse you , EXPECT A BAD DAY IN YOUR NEAR FUTURE!!!!


02. april :
okay update story : this is probably worse than the volcanoes and the gorund breathing ; THERE IS A SNAKE TWISTING INSIDE THE MOUNTAIN EVERYTIME THERE'S AN EARTHQUAKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!....honestly i am speechless
behold the reasoning of the somali community  

sleepy thought

"GO YE AND CAUSE MAYHEM"... the title of a Youtube video that had me laughing, confused, frustrated and thinking.

So at the end of a long day, feeling bored and tired,in an attempt to entertain myself as i eat my laxoox, i click on youtube. now my hands aimlessly type in Somalia, and the results are as expected
the words "AL-SHABAAB, CIVIL WAR , PIRATES and FIGHTERS" play over my screen. As i scroll down, this video catches my attention, double-click, and its loading . few minutes later here i am, sleepy, skeptic, and a little more repulsive to Kenyans.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxXyai80BFQ

now this is a video by a so-called "NTV Kenya; a Kenyan premier TV station for news and general programming", Whats amazing about it is ..HOW ON EARTH WHERE THEY ABLE TO GET HOLD OF SUCH NEWS ??. I've watched the video twice, and there was not one second of that video that clearly showed AK-47's being given off as prizes .
and why would a 100+ residents attend such a ceremony??, some regions of Somalia may be in war but that does not mean the public are approving of little boys running around with guns and grenades, shooting and killing innocent civilians!!!...not only is it absurd, it is unbelievably frustrating how such a story is fragmented to make Somalis look bad.

now thats not the worst of it , as i scroll down to read the comments , this is the response of a person to some one who said " I want to go to Somalia and form my own country... Who is with me?"


THE UGLY REPLY :

"@tomrichardson83 yeh....then go live live
there.....and try to avoid genocide, aids,
rape, and starvation....then tell me you still wanna live there asshole"

its funny how everyone just assumes we have aids and starvation and all kinds of horrible problems. he might be right about genocide, but rape??.
of course there is that occasional incident that has everyone shocked and in disbelieve . but AIDS AND RAPE ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST OF OUR INTERNAL ISSUES!!!!...


but sadly that seems to be the impression the world has created about a country that was once known as "PARADISE IN AFRICA".


....too sleepy to type, the words of a friend pop in my head

"I've got sunshine in a bag, no wait its piss"..

final words : zzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz lo0olzzz

Somalia - A Lifetime experience

3 years ago, on a sunny sad day , i was told of a place called Borame,and that i would be doing my degree there. The first question that popped in my head was " where is that??". i was in disbelieve when i heard it was in "SOMALIA". i was so sure i wouldn't come out of that trip alive!! . words from the news kept playing in my head " al-shabab, Islamists, UN, Somalia ". i was heartbroken, depressed, and mad at the world. i prayed for forgiveness and repented all of my sins, [ since i knew my clock was ticking].

A month later : as i stepped out of the plane , the weather was UNBELIEVABLE !!!!.being from the middle east where airconditioning pretty much keeps us alive ; the cold breeze and the cloudy sky was just breath taking!!!!

my first reaction inside the airport was : OMGGGG LOOK AT ALL THESE SOMALI PEOPLE!!!!! , my dad quickly hushed me, and told me " people can understand, you know !!!" [ i was used 2 using my somali as a secret language , now everyone around me could understand it, and they were all staring like i was an alien!!!!! ] . 4 hours later , i saw A GOAT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE , 2 min later , BACAC!!! OMGG LOOK AT THE BACAAC!!!! [ bacaac = sheep], i had no idea what they were called in somali and i honestly believed that was a real name for it.



i was like a little lost child, in a different world . i would stare at everything and everyone. and i had so many questions, and no one was being helpful .







the one thing that had me thinking, was why everyone was chewing "GREEN LEAVES JUST LIKE GOATS " .. LIKE EWWWW ...SPIT IT ALREADY!!!
when i finally got to my new home, i was a bit relieved, things were starting to feel better.. the house had a huge balcony and WE HAD A MAID!!!!!! [ we have never had a maid before , so this was 5 star treatment], i was thrilled at the weather i quickly changed into something lighter and sat outside . one thing i didn't realize was going to meet my enemy : "THE MOSQUITOES".. apparently these tiny lil insects were feeding on my sweet, fresh blood all along ,, 2 hours later, i was swelling up like a pumpkin, and i didn't know why... i was having an allergic reaction and it was so bad, i had to get shots at the local hospital .
ever since that day, long sleeves and mosquito repellents were a must!!

3 years later : I AM STILL ALIVE !!!!!!, and living life to the fullest.
i wont lie and tell you, "SOMALIA IS THE AFRICAN VERSION OF HAWAII!!!" [ I'm sure most of you heard that from aabo or hooyo] , but its definitely a trip everyone has to take once in their lifetime . your whole perspective of life will be changed forever. the little things that most of us take for granted are Blessings we should be grateful for every single day of our lives.

FROM A 16 YEAR OLD , SPOILED LIL BRAT WHO WAS FULL O CRAP, TO THE WOMAN I AM TODAY, . I WOULD MOST DEFINITELY DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

BURNING - The Hottest Trend

march 15 .010- A step-mom and her daughter are fighting over something as stupid as .."wash the dishes" , daughter gets angry, locks herself in a room, pours gas all over herself, lights a match and .BOOOMM!!- in 5 sec's her entire body lights up and before you know it she's a human cannon ball , screaming for help. Only problem is; no one can get in, and she cant get out.
30 minutes later shes rushed to the ER, with a 3rd degree burn, and almost 0 skin left on her
2 hours later - she is dead.

LATEST TRENDS IN NORTHERN SOMALIA a.k.a "SOMALILAND" : TEENAGE GIRLS BURN THEMSELVES FOR ATTENTION. sad thing is most of them never live to see any attention, and those who do survive, get treated like monsters.
most of these girls are around the age of 15 to 23, either in high school, or college; and some even married
whats even worse is how no one seems to care . since the beginning of this  month over 5 girls have burned themselves, for the dumbest of reasons. now your probably wondering what could push someone to do such a thing ?. well heres their reasons for doing it :

1. my boyfriend dumped me
2. How dare my mom talk 2 me like that
3. I hate school
4. My boyfriend got me pregnant, and im screwed


The funny thing about a situation this wrong, is how others arent really learning anything from it , and instead of  realizing the stupidity of it all. Burning has become "THE NEXT BIG THING". every little girl has a bottle of gas under her bed, ready to be used. the moment something doesnt go the way she wants it ,
her  reaction will be : 


 "HOW CAN U TALK 2 ME LIKE THAT?? ...WATCH ME NOW ..."AMMA BURN MYSELF!!!!!!"  ,

In a way, its foolishly smart because they will get their way, but for the few who do turn threats into a reality, well  lets just say when you are in one of the world's most underprivileged countries, i really think  "BURNING" for attention should not even be an option.

 Honestly though If i tried that stunt at home .. im sure HOOYOO WOULD HAND ME THE GAS AND THE MATCHES.....and the moment i poured the gas, she would most definetly "DACAS" me down, and have me wishing i never even had a burnin tought to begin with....

all in all, RESPECT YOUR MOMS, DONT GET PREGNANT, WHINE ABOUT SCHOOL, but  DO NOT BURN YOURSELF!!!!!! ..nothing on this earth is worth it